U.nidentified F.ailing O.ptions

Crashing at light speed.

Draining every movement just to remember the slightest detail.

Engulfed in dancing glimpses of past and future prospect.

Tingle at the tip, admonish best in solitude.

Rays of glory, burns of former retrospect.

A sign spelt out from heaven.

Do not forget. Do not remember. Do not hold on. Do not let go.

A wink with the third eye.

Traced simply at each toe tip.

Fond sensation running fast away, no mortal man could catch it.

Redeem the heart of oscillation.

Look back and convert to sand.

Move along and fail to perceive the incompetent fool of fidelity.

This is Unidentified Failing of Options.

And Unidentified Failing of Love.

___

That Red Thing We Use To Pump Blood.

The wind calls my name.

It's time I listened.

With a hint of shame.

I forget my intuition.

One step, Then two.

The moments now at hand.

I always knew.

But now understand.

Im gone with the wind.

It's not just a cliche.

I was only chagrined.

With nothing left to say.

It's been taken right out.

I finally believe.

I promise without doubt.

That I will not leave.

...

Whisper

Take it down to a WHISPER.

No one can hear.

Let it be free. Let into the air.

It's there flying but no one knows.

The content is secret but away it goes.

WHISPER a SECRET.

So nobody knows.

Keep your feelings unshown.

Forget the world no matter the cost.

But don't fight the outcome.

Just take the loss.

WHISPER the name of the person you LOVE.

Let it roam. Let it leave.

It will bring PEACE.

Don't keep it for you.

It's better, release.

WHISPER the name of who you want to BE.

Slide it along. Dotted at the E.

Forget the names engraved on your heart.

They are the past and not for now.

Swat them along for a fresh new start.

WHISPER the place that you want to end UP.

Where do you want? Think long and hard

The back or the front, but keep it in mind.

Don't give in. Stay strong for all.

But in the end don't expect it to find.

...

3 poems... and some lyrics.

"Second Guessing"

I can't do it. I thought that I could.

One after another after another.

There are always two sides to a story.

But sometimes there are more.

One has been forgotten.

By everyone.

By All.

By Me.

By you.

By them.

Let's remember.

My eyes are dry.

Nothing left to cry out.

It's all been done.

So many tears. I don't think I have any remaining.

And with each tear. A part of me left.

And a part of me right.

To love the sun and to love the rain.

Both good. One better. One better.

Pick one.

A day that can't have both.

A month that can't have both.

A year that can't have both.

A life that can't have both.

But I love the rain.

Even if it's unpredictable and cold.

But I love the sun.

It's warm. It's promising.

But I can't have both.

So pick. Choose one.

.. (...)

"The Girl At The Park"

A young girl is lost at a park.

Everything has abandoned her.

People try to help her find who she is looking for.

But how can they?

They don't know what the people look like.

They don't know why they left her alone.

They don't even know where to begin to look for her parents.

So they try to comfort her.

But they don't know what she is feeling.

They assume that they do.

But this isn't the only time this happened.

The girl has been through this before.

And this time she is scared.

So they try to give her advice.

They ask if she knows a phone number.

She doesn't.

They ask if she knows where her house is.

She doesn't.

They tell her what to do.

But they all say different things.

One tells her to wait there.

Another tells her to contact the police.

While another says she should go around screaming their names.

But she doesn't listen.

Those people can't help.

She has to find her family on her own.

But her family is gone.

So she doesn't know what to do.

She just sits. And sits. And sits.

Hoping that the unspoken promise of her family is kept.

Hoping that somehow someone finds her and she is saved.

Hoping that she will be able to forget the feelings of being lost at the park.

But she just sits. and sits. and sits.

There is nothing else she can do.

... (..)

"Without"

Without breath I can't speak.

And you took my breath away.

Without hunger I can't eat.

And you took my appetite away.

Without strength I just cry.

And you took all my power away.

Without hope I'm empty.

And you took all my hope away.

Without my heart I can't love anymore.

And you took every piece of it.

Without you I am nothing.

You took that from me too.

...

JJ HELLER. "Everything is Changing"

I’m trying to follow
I’m trying my best to do what you said
But what about tomorrow
Are you sure I’m not in over my head

Everything is changing all around me
Is this the ending of a dream
I thought I was doing what you wanted
It isn’t as easy as it seemed

I’m losing my vision
I’m fighting the doubting with all that I am
It’s been awhile since you last gave me something
To go on
Tell me it’s not the end

It seemed like I did everything right
Now I see that it’s all wrong
Do you want me to move on
Can you tell me where I belong

HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

So.... I LOVE DISNEYLAND!!! The first day we got there and it was PACKED. So we didn't think that it would be much fun but it turned out to be SUCH A BLAST!!!!!!

First stepping into out hotel. Goofy behind me and Kenzie. And my Perry Shirt :) A guide on the storybook land ride was completely OBSESSED!

The very first ride we went on was the storybook land one. During it there was this cheesy line that went something like: "Although while in Agrabah, Aladin didn't manage to steal bread, he stole the princess's heart." Then this adorable probably 7 year-old-boy sighs and says "how romantic!" It was so cute.

Me, Kenzie, and Shelly in line for Space Mountain :) pretty sure we went on it 6 times at least.

When we first got on the train we noticed that each time it stopped the people looked dead. So every time we pulled into one of the stops Shelly and I sat frozen with thumbs up looking much much too happy.

This was the cutest little girl sitting in front of us on the train, so of course, being the creeper that I am, I got a picture.

Shelly, having her weird obsession with spoons, got this one at 6:45 a.m. and kept it almost the WHOLE day.

On Wednesday night I met up with Jessica and her little sister, Sandra. I had so much fun that night, and it was honestly probably my favorite part of the trip.

Classic Shelly pose on Tower of Terror, or as Jessica's little brother wants to call it. T.O.T. :)

If you look close enough at Shelly's face you can tell it is a classic Jake Knell smile. (Note my fanny pack. Gotta love it.)

We have a weird thing for dudes with mustaches. This called for a picture.

When we went on Soarin I got to hold the red card which times how much time it takes to get through the line. I was pretty pumped about it.

In the middle of us riding Splash Mountain it closes down. The lights came on and all disney magic was ruined for young children. Here is all the logs backed way up.

A nice lady worker came and helped us all out of our boats. From there we continued to walk through the ride... only not the water part.

The three of us almost touching the fake-real thorns!

Me and Brer Rabbit. Yeah, we're pretty much tight.

This is the lot that they took us to when we got out of the ride all ninja like.

But to make it all better for getting stuck we got this little beauty, a fast pass to ANY ride (except the Toy Story Mania) that includes things that DONT have a fast pass line. Pretty sick eh?

And to end the very glorious trip off we got to ride home in a TAXI! I've never been in one before but it made the 4:30 a.m. drive much for bearable.

So that was my trip! Well, part of it :) What a wonderful Spring Break.

My Friend. The Rain.

Today the rain is my friend.

At least I have one to share company with.

Its sounds give some small comfort

Its smell excites me so

But somehow I'm still lonely

neglected, broken promises

My friend, the rain gives filling

but still I feel alone.

At least the rain is constant

It knows what it's supposed to do

I try to follow in it's footsteps

But I am just a fool.

I listen to what it's saying

But I cannot do the same

I'm hurting, bent and broken.

Where as it's beauty still remains.

My face now reflects my dear friend.

No matter how it's tried to aid

I cannot not help but copy-cat

It's all built up now,

Everyday.

It needs to be let out

I've never been one to choose

And now I have no choice but to.

Just like the rain Ill let it all out

Ill let it wash away.

The only problem with my friend

Is it comes back another day.

So now It's coming back to me

Whether or not I want.

But I love the rain.

How it succors me.

And I'd rather have it here, than not.

..

Pictures.

So these are just some pictures from last year that I took in my yard. I really love taking photos. It helps me vent out so much and express a lot.













The end :)

Actions Speak Louder Than Words.

"I can't hear what you're saying, because what you're doing speaks too loud."

Yes. It's true. We have all heard it a million times, that our actions speak louder than our words. But the reason we have heard it so many times, is because it is so very very true. What a person does, how they act shows a lot about what they person stands for. It can also show how that person feels about you. It doesn't matter how many times someone says something if they don't have the actions to back it up. What a person chooses to do shows their character. Most people can "talk the talk" but they can't "walk to the walk." Yes obviously people don't always do the one hundred percent best thing, but they can DO things to try and fix it. To me, it mostly matters what the reason was for why they did it. Sometimes actions aren't very fun for anyone. And while they can't fix what they have done they can mend some broken hearts, but it obviously can't be forgotten. Words are not the answer. I've learned this myself. So many times I have made a promise, or said something that I just didn't come through on. And in those cases I lost some things and some people who were really important to me. I chose my action, but I can't choose what the outcome is, even though I can control what I do afterwards I guess what I'm trying to say is, do what shows you care, do what you say you will, do things to show your morality, do things to represent who you are, do things that make you a better person, do things that uplift you, do things to make sure the ones you care about know you care, do things to help your future. Stop thinking and saying and start doing. Words are meaningless unless followed up by actions.

April Fools!

Today I have Played no april fools jokes. Day not well spent. but....

"Love is giving someone the power to hurt you."

So I don't really know what to say today. So much has happened and It's kind of all overwhelming. But. I'll get through it right?

So.... My hands keep looking freakier everyday. I don't think that is a good sign. But there isn't much I can do about it. My energy was okay today. I smiled a lot. And got frustrated a lot. But what else can you do? I'm not exactly sure. So I guess today i'm going to do a lyrics day :) Yay. My favorite.:

"The Chain" Ingrid Michaelson--

The sky looks pissed
The wind talks back
My bones are shifting in my skin
And you my love are gone

My room seems wrong
The bed won't fit
I cannot seem to operate
And you my love are gone

[CHORUS]
So glide away on soapy heels
And promise not to promise anymore
And if you come around again
Then I will take, then I will take the chain from off the door

I'll never say I'll never love
But I don't say a lot of things
And you my love are gone

So glide away on soapy heels
And promise not to promise anymore
And if you come around again
Then I will take, then I will take the chain from off the door