If I was your boyfriend

So that Lila can know Andrew's name! Because we all know this is very important :)

Called to Serve

Click Here to watch my missino call opening!

This is mostly for you Grandma :)

Skin and Bone

And there are still emails to come today. I love missionary monday. 

I don't care. I love it.

Sorry for my Cliche. At least I didn't post it to Facebook right?

BUT I'M JUST SO DARN EXCITED.

When the daylight comes

If I could hashtag a word on everything I see right now it would be blessed.

I woke up this morning so extremely sick with a long day of studying for my biology final ahead of me.

Cole brought me yogurt and cough medicine and did things like put my dishes away for me.
Bonnie brought me pancakes and studied with me.
Kaitlynn brought me medicine and a cup of water.
Kurtis made sure I remembered to turn in my mission prep and walked with me there.
Mads came to make sure I was okay.
Sarah came to me for comfort, and I love that I could be there for her.
My mama was the sweetest on the phone and made sure she could do everything for me, and made sure my family got me a Jamba.
My daddy brought it up to my room so that I wouldn't have to come downstairs.
Then Kylie made poppyseed bread and shared it with me.
Alli and Dylan knocked on my door and had my favorite kind of greek yogurt for me.
Kurtis texted me to see if I wanted Curry because he knows I love it.
Lyd came over to make sure that I had medicine.

I am so extremely blessed. I have the best friends and family on the entire planet. I'm getting sentimental about leaving all of this in 2 days.

I am the luckiest girl in the world.



#blessed

We never even liked him from the start

Waiting is so hard.

It is so incredibly hard.


I have been so patient, but all I want to do, all I've wanted to do, is go on my mission.


Please come faster.

Make me wanna roll my windows down

The last couple of days have been filled of emotion. It seems good things are coming to an end. Who knows, maybe better things are in store.

The last 2 reading days I've been semi-productive, but no matter what I do I still have test anxiety and I still get very nervous about everything. On top of it all there are just too many goodbyes that have to be said.

I have to say goodbye to my freshman roommates who I grew to love so much and grew so close to. I have to say goodbye to my 7:42 walk to school every morning in what was usually the freezing cold. I have to say goodbye to sleeping in Rachel's bed with her or stopping by the boys' dorm without being invited but always being welcomed in. I have to say goodbye to Ward prayer and sitting on the left front corner of the room. I have to say goodbye to perfectly living on the 3rd floor where taking the elevator didn't mean you're fat. I have to say goodbye to my best friends in the whole world. I have to say goodbye to living with this vibe ever again. I have to say goodbye to some of my best friends in the world.

That's a lot of emotion to put into one freshman girl's finals week. Not to mention the stress of moving into a new apartment, starting a new job, finding out about ballroom teams, and turning in mission papers.

But oh the tender mercies of the Lord. I have people here who love me and best friends serving around the world. I have best friends in California and Seattle who send me pictures in almost every letter. A boy who sends me a random letter from Japan with funny names addressed to me. A boy in Kenya who continually wants to do what is best for me, him, and the Lord. A boy in Chile who writes me infinitely long emails and knows just what to say to make me laugh. And many others who send me weekly emails about the work they are doing to gather Zion.

Even through all these goodbyes, and all the tears, and the late night crepe runs, or late night library parties, and all the moving out I seem to find beautiful things in every day.

I happen to be wearing an interestingly patterned floor length dress that could maybe make me look like I'm a pioneer. But as I was listening to Mumford & Sons while I waited for my study group, a perfect stranger came over, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I just wanted to tell you that is a beautiful dress." Then he smiled and walked away.

Couldn't have had a more perfect moment. Couldn't have had a more perfect year.

We can dance in slow motion

Last night was one of the best dates I've had in my entire life. My best friends and I threw a murder mystery date and Rebeca set it all up for us.

It was perfect. We ate dinner while we all introduced our characters. Rachel and Mads made super yummy twice baked potatoes and BBQ chicken. We had name tags, envelopes with evidence and money, written story lines, and everything. We all dressed in 1920's outfits and looked dang sharp with our dates. It was seriously crazy! Everyone was lying right and left and trying to deceive in order to get information out of the other characters. Everyone got so into it and it was so much fun.

We watched Clue afterwards in honor of our murder mystery date night.
Today I got to watch General Conference with my best friends and I was so excited about all of it! I didn't even sleep through any of it. It started while Cade, Rach, and I were at Wendy's so Rach and I ran to Cade's car to listen to it. The spirit was so strong today and I could even tell you what all the talks were about! I actually understood everything that they were saying. It's like I'm growing up or something.

Along with growing up comes goodbyes. I said goodbye to Cade and Gabe today. Two of my very best friends. These boys are my brothers. I will miss going to the store with Gabe and watching all of our videos that we both find hilarious. I'll miss car rides and dinner with Cade. I'll miss laughing with Gabe because he let me be completely myself around him. I'll miss my late night talks with Cade and the fact we always somehow talked about some gospel principle and grew so much together. I'll miss playing Slender Man with Gabe and pretty much crying when he captured us. I'll miss Cade's scripture reading voice and the fact he always did everything he could for me and never complained. I'll miss Gabe calling me for advice about Sarah. I'll miss Cade letting me yell at him and then after just laughing and saying "haha, you're funny." I'll miss these boys so much.

Right now Sarah, Rach, and Alli are just sitting in our combined home living room and realizing that all our guy friends are gone. We are quite literally alone. We have no more friends! So if anyone has suggestions for guy-friend-less girls we could use them. All our boys have left us to serve the Lord, so of course we could not be more proud. But still..... we are friendless.

His eyes are way too close together

10 best days of my life.
(in no particular order)

1 Skydiving

2 Temple Square

3 Day the mission age was lowered

4 The day I was cast in Liken

5 An A capella tour day 

6 Prom

7 Youth ballroom team won nationals

8 Day of cruise with family

9 Day in Paris

10 Day in Africa

praying that you and me might end up together

I think I need the therapy of a blog post more than anything right now. This semester has been crazy and insane and so much has happened.

I got the scholarships I was hoping for to attend spring and summer terms so that should be a new adventure! Housing and figuring out where to live just need to come a little bit easier.

I have the best friends in the world. Sunday night I was going through some very difficult stuff. Dillon sat me down and talked me through everything while I just bawled my eyes out to him. Then he, Dylan, Cade, and Cole all gave me a much needed blessing. How lucky I am to have worthy men in my life to be able to do something like that on a seconds notice! We were having a pie party in celebration of pie day and I just couldn't be more grateful for my friends.

This semester has had so many twists and turns. I've had heartbreak and stress that I didn't see or expect coming but I have learned more than I could have ever learned without it all. At the end of the day I am happy because I have the most important people in my life and the best friends ever. If everything works out my papers should finally be open this week and I can start on the one thing I would give up absolutely anything to do, go and serve the lord where he needs me.

Life sure hands you things you don't expect. You just keep planning and planning and things keep constantly changing. Sometimes I come to the point that I just want to throw my hands up in the air and stop making plans all together.

love sick without being in love

I've been having some interesting experiences lately.

All I can say is I think success is truly measured by how happy you are. Nothing else.

The atonement is real and Heavenly Father is there.
There is a plan for all of us.



I hope they call me on a mission.

Every day we can play on the milky way

I love having a best friend who is Catholic. Nothing makes me happier than learning about beliefs of other people and other religions. This year I am participating in Lent.
Today is Mardi Gras and to that I say:

Hopefully I'll be able to attend Ash Wednesday tomorrow, but either way it all starts soon!

I am giving up:
Candy
Sweets
Ice Cream
Soda
Chocolate
Meat on Fridays

Also when I want to get on any social networks I will read or write in my journal instead.

Exceptions:
Valentine's Day
Emily's Birthday
1 day of Nationals
*In order to make up for these days I have to do acts of service for eating something against my Lent rules. 

I'm going to church with her in a couple of weeks and we are going to visit the beautiful cathedral in Salt Lake City.

I am so excited for this opportunity to come closer to Christ and to give up something to remind myself of him daily and draw nearer to him.

Let Lent begin. 

Pretending he's beside me

My best friend, Emily Kapral, said something beautiful yesterday. As we were having one of those daily life changing talks we have that most have once a year she stunned me and I had to even stop to think about her words.
She said something along the lines of, "I wouldn't want to get married now because I don't know enough about myself. I want to be comfortable enough to just share who I am completely with someone."
How lovely a thought that is. For so long I've always assumed you get married and figure out who you are with that person. Together you figure yourself out. But I like her way much better.
Love is about sharing exactly who you are with someone who loves you enough to love every part of you. It isn't that thing you do when you feel alone or confused or need to figure something out. You don't love to find yourself you find yourself and then love. It's just plain and simple. It's merely taking yourself and letting someone see every tattered and dusty corner of your soul.