day of driving and dating.
"your first kiss."
WELL!!!! MAMA would love if I could say I'm still part of the V.L. club.
But let us face it. Alas, I am not.
But my first kiss with who? and does kindergarden count?
My first kiss was on the lips. Not much more to say.
Well actually it was on the forehead... alright I just feel weird about sharing any of this.
So I will let you PICK which of these options you want and you can imagine whatever cute scene you want. That's more fun anyway:
Football field.
The rain.
A couch.
An office.
A neighborhood.
On the hood of a car.
Mistletoe.
Under the stars.
And you can imagine the boy to be whoever you want. As long as he is cute. So THAT is my first kiss.
30.1.11
Yeah I'm sorry, I can't afford a Ferrari
I think it's funny when people in their 20s act as mature as 12 year olds.
Actually. no. it's not that funny.
Actually. no. it's not that funny.
Funny how it rained all day
Day 15.
"Your dreams."
I dream about what I'm worried about no joke. I always have nightmares about events coming up that I'm not ready for, going back to school, and the people I love turning on me.
And when I like someone they for reals are in my dream almost every night.... quite strange.
I have really weird dreams too though. REALLY weird. Some I don't ever want to remember!
but.... I think this post meant my dreams as in "my goals" but... I'm not sure what those are yet. So, for now, this will suffice.
"Your dreams."
I dream about what I'm worried about no joke. I always have nightmares about events coming up that I'm not ready for, going back to school, and the people I love turning on me.
And when I like someone they for reals are in my dream almost every night.... quite strange.
I have really weird dreams too though. REALLY weird. Some I don't ever want to remember!
but.... I think this post meant my dreams as in "my goals" but... I'm not sure what those are yet. So, for now, this will suffice.
28.1.11
I think I wanna marry you
day 14444444.
"What you wore today."
Well today I wasn't going to go to school. Then at 7:05 I decided I would.
I got ready in 5 minutes.
I wore:
My jeans.
My bright flower shirt.
My hair 100 % natural.
My glasses.
My white tennis shoes.
NO makeup.
Yup. that's what I wore.
"What you wore today."
Well today I wasn't going to go to school. Then at 7:05 I decided I would.
I got ready in 5 minutes.
I wore:
My jeans.
My bright flower shirt.
My hair 100 % natural.
My glasses.
My white tennis shoes.
NO makeup.
Yup. that's what I wore.
27.1.11
Oily marks appear on walls
Thurt... tein.
"Your Week"
Well this Saturday is Provo High Comp. What does that tell you? stressed.
Hm... breakdowns?
I think I'm at 3.
1 really bad one.
But I would not say this was a bad week. Not at all. I had a fun Walmart trip, a nice long warm bath, many a fun lunches, a random hour at Kendra's Grandmother's casa, seeing Darren's movie, abuse from the foreigner, a night I'll never forget, good talk time with Mays, calls from my favorite people, and a bunch of healthy food.
Tomorrow I have a V.O for IHC commercial, dance, then a date with Andy.
Saturday I have COMP! yikes. but yay. And then a fun night of Mario Kart :)
So that is my week thus far.
"Your Week"
Well this Saturday is Provo High Comp. What does that tell you? stressed.
Hm... breakdowns?
I think I'm at 3.
1 really bad one.
But I would not say this was a bad week. Not at all. I had a fun Walmart trip, a nice long warm bath, many a fun lunches, a random hour at Kendra's Grandmother's casa, seeing Darren's movie, abuse from the foreigner, a night I'll never forget, good talk time with Mays, calls from my favorite people, and a bunch of healthy food.
Tomorrow I have a V.O for IHC commercial, dance, then a date with Andy.
Saturday I have COMP! yikes. but yay. And then a fun night of Mario Kart :)
So that is my week thus far.
26.1.11
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
day 12.
What's in my bag?
Well i don't normally carry a bag around usually I have:
Student i.d.
Money.
Lip Gloss.
That's it.
What's in my bag?
Well i don't normally carry a bag around usually I have:
Student i.d.
Money.
Lip Gloss.
That's it.
25.1.11
When they look at the pictures, please tell them my name.
day. 111111.
"My siblings."
well. I don't have any siblings. thee end.
JUST KIDDING.
I have 7 of them. yup. 7. That's quite a few. down the list I go.
JASMINE- well I haven't known Jasmine very well because she is much older than me. But what I do know is I love her and she is hilarious. Every time I get to see her I'm so thankful for the opportunity to just get to talk to her. She is a wonderful mother to her children and an excellent wife.
JESSICA- I love Jessica. She is the sister who is the peacemaker. The one who always makes me feel better. Just spending time with her in florida over Christmas break was the best! She is so funny and easy-going. I love being with her. She is also an excellent mother, and wife. I respect her so much!
ANNA- I have grown much closer to Anna in the past year. I know I've said it before, but I really can't express enough how much that night she saved me means to me. I think about it a lot and know I wouldn't have gotten through it without her. She is always so fun to talk to and I love making c.d.'s for her. She is so open with me about everything and I can ask her anything. I love her very very much.
MEGAN- Megs has always been my best friend. I miss hanging out with her as much as I used to, and need to start that again! I always loved going to her and Todd's apartment and having sleepovers with her. Megs is always there when I need her and she is just so cute! I love having her near-by and I love playing with her.
DARREN- I love my brother. I love him. I am so proud of everything he has accomplished and gotten through, and where he is now. I miss him so much. I owe a lot of what I've learned to him. I remember going to the temple with him before he left for Canada, and that was one of the coolest experiences ever. I loved the music he would share with me and when he would play me his songs in his room. I love and miss him very much.
SHELLY- bell is my favorite. We obviously don't always get along but we are best buds now. We laugh at the same stuff and I'm completely myself around her. I tell her a lot, even if she doesn't think so. I always have fun with her, and we do silly things together. Sacrament meeting with her is the funnest! It's weird not having her live at home, but she is still here a lot, so it's good. I owe the week of March 2nd to her. there it is in writing.
NIKENZIE- That's my babe of a sister who is way too cool for all of us. Yes, she uses my stuff ALL the time and it is quite frustrating, but I love her. I enjoy spending time with her and hearing about all the stories from school. My favorite is when I take her to get Frozen Yogurt at Earth something.... it's the best. I love her and her silliness. Even though she thinks I'm a weirdie.
So, honestly, my siblings are the greatest. Nobody can top them for reals. Look at how great each one is, and how my family is the best. I'm so blessed to have them all.
"My siblings."
well. I don't have any siblings. thee end.
JUST KIDDING.
I have 7 of them. yup. 7. That's quite a few. down the list I go.
JASMINE- well I haven't known Jasmine very well because she is much older than me. But what I do know is I love her and she is hilarious. Every time I get to see her I'm so thankful for the opportunity to just get to talk to her. She is a wonderful mother to her children and an excellent wife.
JESSICA- I love Jessica. She is the sister who is the peacemaker. The one who always makes me feel better. Just spending time with her in florida over Christmas break was the best! She is so funny and easy-going. I love being with her. She is also an excellent mother, and wife. I respect her so much!
ANNA- I have grown much closer to Anna in the past year. I know I've said it before, but I really can't express enough how much that night she saved me means to me. I think about it a lot and know I wouldn't have gotten through it without her. She is always so fun to talk to and I love making c.d.'s for her. She is so open with me about everything and I can ask her anything. I love her very very much.
MEGAN- Megs has always been my best friend. I miss hanging out with her as much as I used to, and need to start that again! I always loved going to her and Todd's apartment and having sleepovers with her. Megs is always there when I need her and she is just so cute! I love having her near-by and I love playing with her.
DARREN- I love my brother. I love him. I am so proud of everything he has accomplished and gotten through, and where he is now. I miss him so much. I owe a lot of what I've learned to him. I remember going to the temple with him before he left for Canada, and that was one of the coolest experiences ever. I loved the music he would share with me and when he would play me his songs in his room. I love and miss him very much.
SHELLY- bell is my favorite. We obviously don't always get along but we are best buds now. We laugh at the same stuff and I'm completely myself around her. I tell her a lot, even if she doesn't think so. I always have fun with her, and we do silly things together. Sacrament meeting with her is the funnest! It's weird not having her live at home, but she is still here a lot, so it's good. I owe the week of March 2nd to her. there it is in writing.
NIKENZIE- That's my babe of a sister who is way too cool for all of us. Yes, she uses my stuff ALL the time and it is quite frustrating, but I love her. I enjoy spending time with her and hearing about all the stories from school. My favorite is when I take her to get Frozen Yogurt at Earth something.... it's the best. I love her and her silliness. Even though she thinks I'm a weirdie.
So, honestly, my siblings are the greatest. Nobody can top them for reals. Look at how great each one is, and how my family is the best. I'm so blessed to have them all.
24.1.11
1 and 1 make 2. 2 and 1 make 3. It's destiny.
day TeN. 00000010000000.
"what you wore today"
Well.... I wore.
My black pants.
Black boots with ruffle.
Pink socks.
Cami, White tank, and a half blazer.
A long necklace with a blue gem.
My africa zebra ring.
THEN!
My tie dye shirt to dance in. yay!
"what you wore today"
Well.... I wore.
My black pants.
Black boots with ruffle.
Pink socks.
Cami, White tank, and a half blazer.
A long necklace with a blue gem.
My africa zebra ring.
THEN!
My tie dye shirt to dance in. yay!
23.1.11
I could've cheated, and I could've passed
Day 000009......
"Your beliefs"
I believe in the LDS church. I believe in the power of the gospel and the atonement. I believe that there is no such thing as a bad person, only people who make bad choices. I believe that the harder trials are given to the stronger people. I believe in love, and I don't think you're ever too young to know what true love is. I don't think age has a limit on what you can do. I believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason. I believe that people deserve second chances. I believe that life is hard, but it is worth it.
"Your beliefs"
I believe in the LDS church. I believe in the power of the gospel and the atonement. I believe that there is no such thing as a bad person, only people who make bad choices. I believe that the harder trials are given to the stronger people. I believe in love, and I don't think you're ever too young to know what true love is. I don't think age has a limit on what you can do. I believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason. I believe that people deserve second chances. I believe that life is hard, but it is worth it.
20.1.11
You said I must eat so many lemons, 'cause I am so bitter.
Day 00008.
"A moment."
I remember a moment. An instant so powerful I knew I had to change. I knew I had to resolve everything. I knew what I had to do. And I was scared to death to do it. I remember the exact instant I saw my reflection and knew that wasn't who I wanted to be. I knew where I wanted to go and I knew I had to change things to get there. I remember that moment so strongly.
I remember a moment so strong, so powerful I knew the gospel was true. I knew I didn't want to ever be anywhere but in the truth. I knew I wanted to keep everything straight so that I would have that pure joy forever.
I remember a moment when I finally realized I deserved better. When I finally saw someone for who they are, and not what I wished they were. I remember the moment I saw my future, and they weren't in it. I remember finally getting passed it all.
I remember the moment of shock, of betrayal, of hurt. I remember shaking and crying and not being able to think of anything but the past. I remember the ache in my entire body and the world collapse beneath me. I remember losing all sense of reality.
I remember a moment when I found out the news. When I thought my life would change forever. When I'd never ask for another thing again because I was happy forever. I remember the tears down my face with the great news.
I remember a moment when I felt wonderful. Great. At peace. Happy. I knew everything was great.
Those are some of my moments
"A moment."
I remember a moment. An instant so powerful I knew I had to change. I knew I had to resolve everything. I knew what I had to do. And I was scared to death to do it. I remember the exact instant I saw my reflection and knew that wasn't who I wanted to be. I knew where I wanted to go and I knew I had to change things to get there. I remember that moment so strongly.
I remember a moment so strong, so powerful I knew the gospel was true. I knew I didn't want to ever be anywhere but in the truth. I knew I wanted to keep everything straight so that I would have that pure joy forever.
I remember a moment when I finally realized I deserved better. When I finally saw someone for who they are, and not what I wished they were. I remember the moment I saw my future, and they weren't in it. I remember finally getting passed it all.
I remember the moment of shock, of betrayal, of hurt. I remember shaking and crying and not being able to think of anything but the past. I remember the ache in my entire body and the world collapse beneath me. I remember losing all sense of reality.
I remember a moment when I found out the news. When I thought my life would change forever. When I'd never ask for another thing again because I was happy forever. I remember the tears down my face with the great news.
I remember a moment when I felt wonderful. Great. At peace. Happy. I knew everything was great.
Those are some of my moments
19.1.11
I know you know I know.
skipped yesterday so 2 in one.
DAy 0000006 Your day: (monday)
well, went to an audition up in salt lake.
Went okay. not great.
Took Shelly to lunch with Harly
I love Zupas, and we had some weird conversation.
Went to Acting Up!
FUN FUN FUN.
Did a show at Christmas Box House.
I love black people.
Went to Andy's House.
Facebook movie... interesting.
Time for bed! and night :)
Day 0000007
Your best friend:
Please see previous posts: HERE or hereee.
That is all.
DAy 0000006 Your day: (monday)
well, went to an audition up in salt lake.
Went okay. not great.
Took Shelly to lunch with Harly
I love Zupas, and we had some weird conversation.
Went to Acting Up!
FUN FUN FUN.
Did a show at Christmas Box House.
I love black people.
Went to Andy's House.
Facebook movie... interesting.
Time for bed! and night :)
Day 0000007
Your best friend:
Please see previous posts: HERE or hereee.
That is all.
17.1.11
Sensible self would you kindly shut up?
DAY 0000000005
"My definition of love?"
Love is giving someone the power to hurt you.
"My definition of love?"
Love is giving someone the power to hurt you.
16.1.11
I tried to change, but I changed my mind
DAY 000000004
What I ate today.
This is for yesterday. And this is what I ate:
3 pieces of whole wheat bread.
2 apples.
2 tangerines.
A slim fast.
2 bananas.
10 pieces of pineapple.
7 celery sticks.
Handfuls of carrots and broccoli.
Some blueberries.
1 granola bar.
1 yogurt.
1 pumpkin cookie.
1 can of chicken noodle soup.
1/2 grapefruit.
1 nuts about berries salad
1 california turkey, hold the Avocado.
1 piece of Lee Apple Pie.
2 bites of tomato basil soup.
Yeah.... I eat a lot :)
What I ate today.
This is for yesterday. And this is what I ate:
3 pieces of whole wheat bread.
2 apples.
2 tangerines.
A slim fast.
2 bananas.
10 pieces of pineapple.
7 celery sticks.
Handfuls of carrots and broccoli.
Some blueberries.
1 granola bar.
1 yogurt.
1 pumpkin cookie.
1 can of chicken noodle soup.
1/2 grapefruit.
1 nuts about berries salad
1 california turkey, hold the Avocado.
1 piece of Lee Apple Pie.
2 bites of tomato basil soup.
Yeah.... I eat a lot :)
15.1.11
The change in my pocket wasn't enough
DAY 0000000000003
"Your Parents"
Well. My parents are the most incredible people you will ever meet. Basically my mom was Senior president, and Valedictorian. She went to college got a teaching degree and was a wonderful teacher. She is a hard working woman who has goals and makes them. She loves chocolate and yet is the skinniest mother ever (don't argue it mom, when you weigh less than your 16 year old daughter that means you are extremely fit. let's face it you got a nice figure mama) She knows how to have fun, playing games with me and Dr. Mario but also knows how to get down to business. I love my mom more than I'll ever be able to express or show her. She helps me even when I'm in a bad mood and assists as I cry all the time to her. She is wonderful. THEE best.
My papa is also basically Mr. Smarty pants. He scored perfect on the math section of his S.A.T., he got 100 % on all of his chemistry finals in college, was a chemistry Major (WHO DOES THAT?!?) became an amazing doctor and never stops loving to learn. He is the best church man and always sticks to his family and his beliefs. I love when he gets emotional and tells me he loves me. And when he comes into my room after I'm asleep on a friday night just to tell me he loves me and gives me a hug, like last night :) He has the best laugh and the best sense of humor. He sings all over the place and it always makes me happy. So Um. Wow. My parents really are the best.
I LOVE YOU!!!!
"Your Parents"
Well. My parents are the most incredible people you will ever meet. Basically my mom was Senior president, and Valedictorian. She went to college got a teaching degree and was a wonderful teacher. She is a hard working woman who has goals and makes them. She loves chocolate and yet is the skinniest mother ever (don't argue it mom, when you weigh less than your 16 year old daughter that means you are extremely fit. let's face it you got a nice figure mama) She knows how to have fun, playing games with me and Dr. Mario but also knows how to get down to business. I love my mom more than I'll ever be able to express or show her. She helps me even when I'm in a bad mood and assists as I cry all the time to her. She is wonderful. THEE best.
My papa is also basically Mr. Smarty pants. He scored perfect on the math section of his S.A.T., he got 100 % on all of his chemistry finals in college, was a chemistry Major (WHO DOES THAT?!?) became an amazing doctor and never stops loving to learn. He is the best church man and always sticks to his family and his beliefs. I love when he gets emotional and tells me he loves me. And when he comes into my room after I'm asleep on a friday night just to tell me he loves me and gives me a hug, like last night :) He has the best laugh and the best sense of humor. He sings all over the place and it always makes me happy. So Um. Wow. My parents really are the best.
I LOVE YOU!!!!
13.1.11
I am not the kind of girl
DAY OOOO2
"Your first love."
Hm. Well my first love was hard. But true. But good. It was unexpected. It was made clear to me one night at temple square. I knew what I felt and what it was. I remember a lot. A lot of thought. A lot of tears over it all. A lot of smiles. I think the thing about loving something really is that you learn a lot about yourself. And I know I did that. And I learned about openness and truth. I learned what is real love and what is love for only a moment. I learned that real love lasts. It doesn't go away. When you love something you don't get bored or sick of it after awhile. It's always there. Love is an interesting thing. Love is a hurtful thing. Love is a hard thing. When you love something enough, when you want something enough, letting yourself fall short seems to be one of the worst ways to live.
But that's just me.
"Your first love."
Hm. Well my first love was hard. But true. But good. It was unexpected. It was made clear to me one night at temple square. I knew what I felt and what it was. I remember a lot. A lot of thought. A lot of tears over it all. A lot of smiles. I think the thing about loving something really is that you learn a lot about yourself. And I know I did that. And I learned about openness and truth. I learned what is real love and what is love for only a moment. I learned that real love lasts. It doesn't go away. When you love something you don't get bored or sick of it after awhile. It's always there. Love is an interesting thing. Love is a hurtful thing. Love is a hard thing. When you love something enough, when you want something enough, letting yourself fall short seems to be one of the worst ways to live.
But that's just me.
12.1.11
I never know what to do with my love
Day 00001
Lauren.
Nicole.
Faber.
Dancer.
Singer.
Actress.
Outgoing.
Painfully shy.
Loud.
Emotional.
A crier.
A daughter.
LDS.
Creative.
Boring.
Smart.
No common sense.
Good listener.
Excellent talker.
Loves.
Determined.
Strong.
Able.
Broken.
Learner.
Teacher.
Hidden.
Open.
A Laugher.
Loves driving.
ZUPAS!
WINGERS!
Hot chocolate.
80's music videos.
Friends.
Siblings.
Reading.
Dresses.
Silly.
Calm.
Off the walls.
Intense.
Easy-going.
Obnoxious.
Hallucinate-r.
Dreamer.
Sleeper.
CRAZY.
BASICALLY, the "L" effect. :)
Lauren.
Nicole.
Faber.
Dancer.
Singer.
Actress.
Outgoing.
Painfully shy.
Loud.
Emotional.
A crier.
A daughter.
LDS.
Creative.
Boring.
Smart.
No common sense.
Good listener.
Excellent talker.
Loves.
Determined.
Strong.
Able.
Broken.
Learner.
Teacher.
Hidden.
Open.
A Laugher.
Loves driving.
ZUPAS!
WINGERS!
Hot chocolate.
80's music videos.
Friends.
Siblings.
Reading.
Dresses.
Silly.
Calm.
Off the walls.
Intense.
Easy-going.
Obnoxious.
Hallucinate-r.
Dreamer.
Sleeper.
CRAZY.
BASICALLY, the "L" effect. :)
How to hold my heart
CHRYSTALYN FINCH I STOLE THIS FROM YOU :)
Thank dearie :)
Day 01 – Introduce yourself with pictures and words
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment
Thank dearie :)
Day 01 – Introduce yourself with pictures and words
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment
10.1.11
I knitted you a hat
DEAR INGRID, THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU.
Still want to hold you and kiss behind your ears
But i recount the countless tears that i lost for you
Starting now I'll never know your name
Starting now I'll never feel the same
Starting now I wish you never came into my world.
It's my world, it's not ours anymore
I took a faith full leap and packed up all my things and
All my love and gave it to somebody else
But we've got our love to pay the bills
I am in love with a boy
Manufactured to destroy
What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
Everyone is hurting now and everything is burning down
But I can build back my new town today
There's a boy next to me and he never will be anything but a boy at the bar.
And I think he's the tops, he's where everything stops.
How I love to love him from afar.
Happy is the heart that still feels pain
And so it goes, this soldier knows the battle with the heart isn't easily won.
They say that home is where the heart is. I guess I haven't found my home.
They say you're really not somebody
Until somebody else loves you
Well, I am waiting to make somebody
Somebody soon
you let me in but then you slam my fingers in the door.
i've had enough but i keep asking you to give me more.
And everything you love and hold so dear
It won't really matter when we disappear
And promise not to promise anymore
I'll never say I'll never love
But I don't say a lot of things
And you my love are gone
Like an angry apple tree
I throw my apples if you get too close to me
Hey when was the last time you laughed
and did you mean it when you did?
You are your own worst enemy, you'll never win the fight
I always seem to forget
How fragile are the very strong.
I'm sorry I can't stay
So I put band-aids on your knees
And watch you fly away
Don't be afraid
It's not bad to be sad
Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
When the cracks on my bedroom ceiling
Give me this empty bottle feeling
I think its time to repaint
You've made me into someone who should not hold a loaded gun
Trying to make your heart fit like a glove
I'm just a stranger, even to myself.
A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf.
You make me think that maybe I won't die alone
Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.
But I'm not 17 and I lost it in-between
The birthday cakes and fast mistakes
That roll by
You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law
Oh what a way that we died
Plenty of tears were supplied
My eyes are wrung out and dry as a bone
And I taste much better alone
Still want to hold you and kiss behind your ears
But i recount the countless tears that i lost for you
Starting now I'll never know your name
Starting now I'll never feel the same
Starting now I wish you never came into my world.
It's my world, it's not ours anymore
I took a faith full leap and packed up all my things and
All my love and gave it to somebody else
But we've got our love to pay the bills
I am in love with a boy
Manufactured to destroy
What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
Everyone is hurting now and everything is burning down
But I can build back my new town today
There's a boy next to me and he never will be anything but a boy at the bar.
And I think he's the tops, he's where everything stops.
How I love to love him from afar.
Happy is the heart that still feels pain
And so it goes, this soldier knows the battle with the heart isn't easily won.
They say that home is where the heart is. I guess I haven't found my home.
They say you're really not somebody
Until somebody else loves you
Well, I am waiting to make somebody
Somebody soon
you let me in but then you slam my fingers in the door.
i've had enough but i keep asking you to give me more.
And everything you love and hold so dear
It won't really matter when we disappear
And promise not to promise anymore
I'll never say I'll never love
But I don't say a lot of things
And you my love are gone
Like an angry apple tree
I throw my apples if you get too close to me
Hey when was the last time you laughed
and did you mean it when you did?
You are your own worst enemy, you'll never win the fight
I always seem to forget
How fragile are the very strong.
I'm sorry I can't stay
So I put band-aids on your knees
And watch you fly away
Don't be afraid
It's not bad to be sad
Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
When the cracks on my bedroom ceiling
Give me this empty bottle feeling
I think its time to repaint
You've made me into someone who should not hold a loaded gun
Trying to make your heart fit like a glove
I'm just a stranger, even to myself.
A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf.
You make me think that maybe I won't die alone
Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.
But I'm not 17 and I lost it in-between
The birthday cakes and fast mistakes
That roll by
You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law
Oh what a way that we died
Plenty of tears were supplied
My eyes are wrung out and dry as a bone
And I taste much better alone
I have come to learn I'll only see you interrupting my dreams at night
That you don't need me, but you won't leave me
My loves too big for you my love
I will pack my bags just to stay in the corner of your heart
I will grow my own trees, while you follow the moon
Sometimes what we think we want we really don't.
Sometimes what we think we love we don't.
If you have the last hands that I want to hold
Then I know I've got to let them go
And I am blind. I can not find the heart I gave to you
There's nothing to say that hasn't been heard
I want to change the world
Instead I sleep
Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise
And you take me the way I am
The snow is folding, sheet upon sheet
Our hands not holding as we cross the street
If you were falling, then I would catch you
You need a light, I'd find a match
That you don't need me, but you won't leave me
My loves too big for you my love
I will pack my bags just to stay in the corner of your heart
I will grow my own trees, while you follow the moon
Sometimes what we think we want we really don't.
Sometimes what we think we love we don't.
If you have the last hands that I want to hold
Then I know I've got to let them go
And I am blind. I can not find the heart I gave to you
There's nothing to say that hasn't been heard
I want to change the world
Instead I sleep
Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise
And you take me the way I am
The snow is folding, sheet upon sheet
Our hands not holding as we cross the street
If you were falling, then I would catch you
You need a light, I'd find a match
I don't tell anyone about the way you hold my hand
I don't tell anyone about the things that we have planned
But I'm gonna wash away, oh I'm gonna wash away everything til you come home to me
Baby if I've got you, I don't need a parachute.
You're gonna catch me, you're gonna catch me if I fall
I don't tell anyone about the things that we have planned
But I'm gonna wash away, oh I'm gonna wash away everything til you come home to me
Baby if I've got you, I don't need a parachute.
You're gonna catch me, you're gonna catch me if I fall
6.1.11
You don't have no Uncle Albert
MAYSON THIS IS FOR YOU.
P.S. I LOVE YOU
In 2011 I will learn to be a best friend, good daughter, studious student, talented performer, humble child of God, a kind sister, a patient aunt, and a contributing member of society. In 2011 I will reach heights I never imagined. In 2011 I will dance until I pass out, sing from my heart, cry when I feel like it, and laugh in the wrong moment and in the face of tragedy. In 2011 I will train myself. I will study harder, develop good habits, and do things wether or not I am lazy or tired. In 2011 I will come closer to the gospel. Not only will I be thankful for all my blessings, but I will take each trial graciously as a gift and opportunity to grow. In 2011 I will finish Personal Progress, read my scriptures, pray daily, and thrive on using the atonement. In 2011 I will develop healthy relationships. I will meet new people, make new bonds, fall in love, get broken and picked back up again. In 2011 I will get to know people because I want to know them. I will seek out those who need me and I will change people's lives. In 2011 I will make mistakes. In 2011 I will want to take back words as soon as they leave my mouth, I will lose patience, I will change my outfit five times one day, I will trip while walking up stairs, and I will fail tests. In 2011 I will grow from my mistakes and become stronger. In 2011 I will discover what I like. I will listen to music I love, taste new foods, choose a favorite color and change it a week later, find a new T.V. show, decide what I want to be when I grow up, and figure out my favorite shape. In 2011 I will exercise and lose weight. Then I will gain it all back again. In 2011 I will write new lyrics and poems about my experiences. I will share them and not keep them hidden. In 2011 I will expand my musical talents. I will play guitar and learn to read music. In 2011 I will love everyone I come in contact with. I will leave all judgement at the door and see people for who they are. In 2011 I will be strong. I will not be torn down by people's comments. I will accept who I am and be happy with myself. In 2011 I will be brave. I will stand for what I know and be strong enough to say Stop or No. I will not make mistakes of my past. In 2011 I will be determined. I will not give up after one try, and I will not give in to disappointment. In 2011 I will blast my music loud, sing in the car, let my hair loose, and smile for no reason. In 2011 I will tell others what I think. I will not be afraid to show myself and I will not be afraid of friendship. In 2011 I will dance in the rain, run barefoot on sand, and swim until I become a prune. In 2011 I will live like I am dying and do what I want. In 2011 I will discover what I like, what I want, who I want, where I want to be, and how I'm getting there. In 2011 I will discover myself. In 2011 I will find who I am.
P.S. I LOVE YOU
In 2011 I will learn to be a best friend, good daughter, studious student, talented performer, humble child of God, a kind sister, a patient aunt, and a contributing member of society. In 2011 I will reach heights I never imagined. In 2011 I will dance until I pass out, sing from my heart, cry when I feel like it, and laugh in the wrong moment and in the face of tragedy. In 2011 I will train myself. I will study harder, develop good habits, and do things wether or not I am lazy or tired. In 2011 I will come closer to the gospel. Not only will I be thankful for all my blessings, but I will take each trial graciously as a gift and opportunity to grow. In 2011 I will finish Personal Progress, read my scriptures, pray daily, and thrive on using the atonement. In 2011 I will develop healthy relationships. I will meet new people, make new bonds, fall in love, get broken and picked back up again. In 2011 I will get to know people because I want to know them. I will seek out those who need me and I will change people's lives. In 2011 I will make mistakes. In 2011 I will want to take back words as soon as they leave my mouth, I will lose patience, I will change my outfit five times one day, I will trip while walking up stairs, and I will fail tests. In 2011 I will grow from my mistakes and become stronger. In 2011 I will discover what I like. I will listen to music I love, taste new foods, choose a favorite color and change it a week later, find a new T.V. show, decide what I want to be when I grow up, and figure out my favorite shape. In 2011 I will exercise and lose weight. Then I will gain it all back again. In 2011 I will write new lyrics and poems about my experiences. I will share them and not keep them hidden. In 2011 I will expand my musical talents. I will play guitar and learn to read music. In 2011 I will love everyone I come in contact with. I will leave all judgement at the door and see people for who they are. In 2011 I will be strong. I will not be torn down by people's comments. I will accept who I am and be happy with myself. In 2011 I will be brave. I will stand for what I know and be strong enough to say Stop or No. I will not make mistakes of my past. In 2011 I will be determined. I will not give up after one try, and I will not give in to disappointment. In 2011 I will blast my music loud, sing in the car, let my hair loose, and smile for no reason. In 2011 I will tell others what I think. I will not be afraid to show myself and I will not be afraid of friendship. In 2011 I will dance in the rain, run barefoot on sand, and swim until I become a prune. In 2011 I will live like I am dying and do what I want. In 2011 I will discover what I like, what I want, who I want, where I want to be, and how I'm getting there. In 2011 I will discover myself. In 2011 I will find who I am.
4.1.11
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
Well. Today was a glorious day. Just glorious I tell you. Happy New Year :)
2.1.11
1.1.11
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