Slipping in Water While Icing.

Just some thoughts on a very good book.

With a new perspective comes a new life.

A new way to glance at the same old thing.

To see what good comes out of it.

To see what can be changed.

Knowing it's all viewed, all recorded.

Look at it in that perspective.

That in an instance it could be over.

And we don't exactly know what will happen to us.

But we can decide.

By who we are, what we do, what life we lead.

Who we choose to love unconditionally.

It's all in how one looks at it.

Perspective.

Those who choose to listen, and to obey have a much different outlook than those who chose to not open up.

Choose now.

And truly.

Where your heart is, there will your treasure lie also.
What we choose to focus on here and now, will really always be what we yearn for in this life, or the next.
Whatever our hearts desire. They will always desire.

The heart wants what the heart wants.




But we can choose what that is.

A Bug in My Rio Salad

How Do I always let you get to me?
You don't even mean to, You don't even try.

Maybe I'm just that easily intimidated.
But you, more than anyone make me feel... that weird feeling.
The one where I'm falling and it never ends.
The one where the world isn't real and nothing matters.
The one where I'm not real.
The one where I can't do well at anything.
That you'll always come around and beat me.
When really you never do.
I'm just crazy. I guess.
So maybe I held on to the one thing that I won at.
But I'm not anymore.
I will find my life too.
You can't get to me anymore.

I'm throwing it all away.

..

Bye Bye Birdie.

Have you ever felt really confused?
Like really really confused??
Like you don't know who you are anymore.
And you don't know what you want.
And you don't even know who is reading this.
And out of those people you don't know who cares?
And then you feel like the world isn't real.
Like the next day doesn't matter.
And everything you have once felt... is different
That you are different?
That everything about you is someone who you aren't
Someone that you don't like.
And you just want to find yourself again.
But you can't, because you are in this strange fake world.
And no matter what you try
You can't breath and something is beating down on you.
And two years ago you were not who you are today.
And yesterday you wanted something completely different than you do today?
And that you like to read and watch movies... and lay in the grass.... because you don't have to talk that way?
And that the color of the sky is controlled by a man in a red suit pulling really big switches to whatever color he desires and slightly resembles Santa Claus.
And the bed you're sleeping in is getting smaller and smaller that your arms have to hang off the side?
And once they do, they could be grabbed by anyone.
And that black and brown actually do  go together?
And that... no matter what you do... you've wronged too much to change who you are again?
And that sometimes looking at someone will be enough... but it's not.
And that sometimes you don't know how to tell people something without them getting offended.
And sometimes you can't make room for everyone in your life.... but you try.
While at the same time you feel like you don't actually have anyone?
And you want to do everything. But you can't do everything.
Because you are just you.
And that no matter how many times you brush your teeth you will still have cavities.
And that everything you eat is always whole so it doesn't matter what you try to do.
And that sometimes even the people who you think love you, and the people you love don't need to be around you because you aren't good for them, you don't need to be there, they are fine without you.
And sometimes don't you wish you could be your little self again, pulling in random men who ring the doorbell only wanting to fix your heating, and end up having them show you pictures of their family.
Don't you wish that.
Am I the only one who ever feels like this?
It's a strange feeling.
But... it's one I feel often.

..

When I said two sugars, actually I meant three.

Am I a good investment?
Am I there when you need me most?
Am I someone you would call in the worst disaster possible?
I'm trying to be.
I'm trying to be that person for you.
Just like the words come out...
Never to be drawn back to be consumed back into the mouth,
to be locked inside the cave once again and never remembered...
My actions aren't ever taken back either.
So am I the type of person you cry to. You come to. Who makes you better?
What am I to you?
There. When it's convenient?
When Im happy? When Im silly and fun?
When I can entertain and do exactly what you want?
When I'm ready to obey?
That's what I am to you?
A post. a letter. a tree.
No emotion.
A character in your story. 
To do as you will.
No. No. No.
I will be more than that.
I will be there.
I will have what I do, what I say, be what you need to hear.




Because
                          It isn't about me.




So as I watch your lips move as you talk.
Ill refrain. 
As I cry when you don't get what you want.
Ill refrain.
When I screw up.
Ill refrain.


But it's okay. 
Lay back down
No worries for you.






It's peaceful.
Go to bed.
Sleep for me.




The sun sets for me.
I know it does.
The colors are for me.
Because they know I've earned it.
I know that I've earned it.






But eventually the colors get old.
And I don't love them like I used to.
Even though I still love them.
It's just not the same.
I'm used to them.
Don't feel the spark that I did the first time I saw the beautiful array in the sky.




I still love you.
So please set for me.
Colors set for me.




...

Stay quiet.

I don't want this feeling to go away.

But when Im here it's gone.

I want to go back.

Am I crazy?

I don't feel the same anymore.

That feeling of good of warmth,

come back now, please, come back.

I gaze into the fire.

How much a fire speaks, it's amazing.

Calm down-- it says.

So I do.

Then I listen some more.

I know this feeling.

I love this feeling.

I miss this feeling so much.

You don't bring me this feeling.

It's vanished as I stepped through the doors.

But what a great feeling.

How lucky I am to have felt it.

I love it.

Cold to cold.

No warmth but inside.

Return soon.

All I ask of you.

..

With the Hip Bone connected to the Back Bone.

Sometimes I remind myself.



And sometimes I miss you.



And sometimes I miss me.



And Occasionally I wish I'd never met myself.



And sometimes I do crazy things.



And sometimes I don't do them enough.



And sometimes I wish I had.




And sometimes Im spontaneous.




And every once in a while I don't mind anymore.



And sometimes I get lonely.



On another note.....And sometimes I go to girl's camp.






And sometimes I'm not sure if I'm excited.






But this time I definitely am.


..

Anger management for a toaster.

Finally.
The sweet smell as it tickles my nose.
The sensation of freedom of joy.
The damp laugh as it dances along.
It rushes down my arms, cold, as I like it,
Shaking each living bone in me.
A run to a circle of glee
It sings as it beckons.
It glides down my nose.
My mouth tastes the array of good.
As I swirl in place the sound grows harder.
Squishy at my feet.
Seeping through how I like it.
Grass clean, wet, smell.
The control it had.
Stop start whatever it may.
I embrace it.
I celebrate it.
The coolness it needed.
It blends in with any tears.
And brings a smile to my face as I remove my shoes.
So I dance once again.
Flesh to floor.
I hear its music as it sways along with me.
Remembered. Loved.
Stay awhile for me. Stay awhile.
Leap. Dance. Enjoy.
Rain.

.

Smile on a Sunday

Sometimes ordinary people come into our lives.
And make extraordinary differences.
Sometimes extraordinary people come into our lives
And make permanent differences.

And then they leave.

But every so often we get lucky.
We get people who stay with us.
Who stand by us.
Who never leave our sides.
And we are blessed with them.
And everything that comes with them,
Forever, and ever and ever.
And we are so much better because of it.

But just because people don't stay around forever.
Doesn't change how you felt or how important they were to you,
Or how much they impacted your life.
What they did for you.
How they moved you.
How they changed you.
How they were there for you.
And What you did in return.

The best thing to do when someone leaves is to not be bitter.
Sometimes that's just how it is.
Sometimes people need to leave because they have come into your life,
Made a difference.
Left their handprint.
And that's all they were destined to do.
Even though while they were here you were the best you.
That they brought out the best you.
When they leave you can still be that person.
Because they taught you how to be.
So don't mope, although you can miss them,
But remember the good things.
Even if everything ended horribly.
There was still good.
They still helped you, and you helped them.
Remember that goodness.

Never be able to look at a spot and feel bad, or hurt, or angry because you have a memory there with that person and now they are gone forever.
Feel glad, and happy and remember the moment you loved.
Don't resent it.
Embrace it.
Love it.

Give the people who changed your life most what they deserve.

And give those people in your life at the moment now what they deserve too.

Because you really never know when they will walk out of your life forever.

Just so everyone who thinks I'm depressed because of my poetry. ITS POETRY. 

I am very happy :)

I am very very content with life =)

Everything is going so well. And I love summer.

That is all............

For people like me, who have this much anxiety, today is not a good day.

When the Big hand's on the past, and the little hand's on the future.

Waking up at 1:13 p.m.
Tick tock tick tock
Disregard last night. Forget it all.
You are YOU.
Love who you are, for you chose who you are.
They DONT matter.
Just lie awake and think.
Tick tock Tick tock.
Smile because that's who you are.
Say yes.
Be Spontaneous.
Run in circles, because you want to.
Scream out loud, because you feel like it.
Stop hiding. STOP being afraid to be you. STOP worrying.
I beg of you.
Don't let them, or him, or her change anything about you.
Don't let them step one foot closer.
Stay true. And stay YOU.
Remember who you were?
What happened to that person? Come back please. I miss you.
Tick tock Tick tock.
Free. Crazy. Spirited. Outgoing. Full of energy, and LIFE.
That's who you used to be. That's where it all used to be.
Come back. Find your way.... back.
Tick Tock Tick Tock.
Before it's too late.
Before there is no turning around.
Hurry, hurry. Stop the worry.
Come home.
It calls.
Tick tock Tick Tock.

I know you can.
I know you can do it.
I know you can do it all.

Come back. Please.
Come back.

..

Running into a Big Guy Who Has Enough Belly Fat it Doesn't Hurt.

Finally something to smile about.

A" big corners pulled up to the eyes" smile.

Teeth showing, eyes squinted.

So much to tell in such a grin.

A story unfolds with the tastefulness of truth.

A freedom, a life, a love.

It's good. It's all good. It's always been good.

But now it's visible.

I can see what I've been missing.

A soul that waits, that comforts.

A mind that opens mine.

Another slip of of the mouth.

But it's my choice to make.

I finally understand.

It's MY choice.

All mine.

Like walking into kindergarten, finding my desk with my nameplate.

It's that much mine.

Like feeling pain, or happiness for loved ones.

It's that much mine.

Like discovering knowledge, learning for myself.

It's that much mine.

It's me. It's been me all along.

It's all set up this way.

So that I can choose to smile.

So that I can choose to make or break your day.

So, a crooked smile it may be.

Still my favorite of the bunch.

Gums free from captivity.

The cave opens to the light.

It brings joy. It brings gladness.

It's a smile just for me.


..