About time I thought to myself, I thought "Hey look at what you have."
It's 43 minutes past 1, and I've never felt more alive as I sit on my bed and type these thoughts that mingle into words somehow.
Something within the past month has changed. Something with me has become a new person.
I'm still afraid of people, and myself, and I still get anxiety and have a hard time letting people see me as me. But I'm getting much better at it.
Somehow I feel like I've realized what's important. I don't need to go to a party or do something the outside folks view as exciting.
I can do crazy random things because I want to and let go of things that I don't want and hold on to things that I do.
if something isn't working out there is a reason for that. I can feel for someone just what that last person had to offer, they are out there somewhere and I don't need them right now, not if that's not the plan.
Family is the basis, it's the most important thing in the world. A good movie, a bowl of soup and my family to share in the weirdness of my very essence is all i really need.
i feel as if i finally know what to do. It isn't plausable or even quite fathomable but all these little particles of thoughts are floating around in my head, and while their meaning can't be changed into printed word the motions they make in my head form the most perfect sentences.
We all have everything. A quiet New Years at the home of someone I barely know was more than I could ask for.
I'm not concerned with other people so much, it's all going to work out.
Somehow memories are more than a past thought in my head these days, they mean more and I'm more blessed because of them but somehow not missing them.
There is a difference between what is and what was. While what was may have been perfect the present is nothing less than Ideal.
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