Thank your unlucky stars

I never think cleaning my room will be so hard, but somehow it always is.
Deep cleaning, not just the "throw my clothes in the hamper, and shoes in the closet" trick always leads to more than expected.

I'm not sure if there has ever been a time that I have gone threw my room without ending up in tears. It seems every time I begin to look through my papers or see old things I get caught up in old memories. I stumble upon unfulfilled promises, objects of importance, and words once held truthful.

Sometimes I find myself reading letters from my brother and tear up remembering how things were, or how proud I am that he is serving the lord.

Sometimes it's a CD from a friend I used to be close to and no longer talk to much.

Sometimes it's a letter from someone I cared about very much promising me things not kept.

Sometimes it's a present from a birthday from people I used to call every night and no longer have the privilege.

Sometimes it's a spiritual thought I wrote years ago that somehow applies perfectly to what I need in the current moment.

Sometimes it's a picture that I drew for things happening at the time, and wish I could go back to.

Sometimes it's a simple piece of wood, or a stuffed monkey, or a boulder, or a teddy bear.

Sometimes it's a note from my parents that I received in previous years at girl's camp that reminds me why they love me, and what I'm worth.

Sometimes it's a movie ticket that flashes me back to a day of smiles and laughter that's long in the past.

Sometimes it's a note I meant to put in my journal about how I felt at that time and I remember how hard it was and that's what evokes the tears.

No matter what it is that I find, there is always something. Cleaning my room isn't ever just a simple thing for me. It somehow leads to what I miss, what I want, and what I need.



Who would have ever thought?