Running through my dreams

Laughing when you don't want to.

Smiling when you should be frowning.

Loving when there is nothing left.

Giving when you should be taking.

Freezing when you should be warm.

Lasting when you've stayed your welcome.

Shaking when there's nothing there.

Crying at the same old story.

Holding when it's finally right.

Butterflies when you hear that sentence.

Giggles as you fall asleep.

Dreams are once more calm and peaceful.

Stunned by one glimpse in the nighttime.

Chills with every false embrace.

Tongue tied when you should be speaking.

Talking endlessly when silence is required.

Loving time, loving life.

Enjoying this new feeling.

Butterflies every time.

Jar of hearts

I think this song is Beautiful. I heard it driving to Lydia's yesterday and some of the lines that I've underlined, or italicized I think are written so eloquently.
Jar of Hearts
by: Christina Perri




I know I can't take one more step towards you

Cause all that's waiting is regret

And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Saturdays and the rocket summer

no.
You don't get to.
You're not allowed to.
I can't believe you'd even have the nerve to do that.
ridiculous. 

Never again will I miss you

I stepped into a new view.

My rose colored glasses and all.

You opened up a new scene for me.

A world where I wasn't small.

I was trapped in a deep, dark box.

With no escape from inside.

You entered my life, took my hand,

And invited me along for the ride.

A skip to the left and a hop to the right

A second look to mine.

Opened my view, got ahead of me

And gave me true sense of time.

I was in a lonely place

But, only I couldn't see.

You opened my eyes so it was all clear.

Thank you for saving me.

I have been, I am, and I always will be yours

I look around my world. At the people involved in my life.

Some people stay close. And others drift away.

I observe the stranger as they pass by holding hands.

Some love makes it and others fall apart.

I have to look at stinging pictures.

Some promises are kept and others intentionally broken.

Sometimes the thing that seems the strongest, the people that feel they will never change their heart, the relationship that all thought would remain forever... are lost.

It's through these times that people hurt the most. That tears roll down a cheek and a heart is chipped away.

The times where love loses, friendships die, and good memories become only a haunting remain.

A day will come when the time has past, the hurt has at least stopped increasing, and the mind is set on the forward path. This is the day when we look back and realize what we think are the greatest things fall apart so the best things can fall together.

Mama's gone Daddy didn't wanna be

HM! Wow! Things I am excited for!

Acapella Concert on Thursday. I quite enjoy choir.
Ballroom concert this weekend. I don't care if it's not all quite there.... shows are fun :)
Christmas! Who isn't excited for Christmas?! AH! I love everything about it. The season is just the greatest.
DisneyWORLD! YESSSSSS
Ellie. And Adam. And Jessica. and Matt. I get to see my sister when I go to Florida!
Florida! 11 days :)
Gift exchange/dollar store night with friends! yay!
Harry Potter World. Bring it.
Intermountain LiVe healthcare commercial. I went to an audition for this today in Salt lake! It felt so good to be even auditioning again. (although the role was for a 13-15 year old ethnically diverse person, it was still good to audition again!)
Jayme and me during our Scera show. Oh boy. gotta love us during Rudolph.
Kisses. no, none in my near future. But yeah.... I can be excited for good future kisses.
Lila. My sister's baby in her stomach. Can't wait to meet my new niece!
Marriage, and my mission. Yes, both far away but both exciting things to look forward to!
New years! That night is yet to be planned. but I have some plans of my own :)
Opening GREAT Christmas present.... the only present I get this year. but am very happy about.
Practicing. YES. I am excited to practice.
Quitting being a quitter (maybe)
Riding tower of terror. MY FAVORITE.
See's Candies. The best part of Christmas.
Two Gentlemen of Verona tryouts. I've never done shakespeare before! Wish me luck!
Undercover society that Henry Lee and I are creating.
Voice!!! Singing. yay!
Wedding expo with Lyd in January! Great tradition.
Xylophone. I'm going to learn how to play. I. am.
You.
Zooooooommmmmm. airplane. wow Z is such a horrible last letter.

You're only happy when I'm wasted

The little girl was given the candy.

She held onto it. Admired it. Loved it.

She didn't want to eat it because then it would be gone and she wanted to savor it.

After drooling and wanting and simply needing the candy she opened the wrapper.

One lick and she was attached. 

Then someone came up and grabbed it right out of her hands. 

She was sad, hurt, and wanted that candy back.

She didn't have enough money for another one.

The person threw her candy on the ground.

She cried and she was broken, just like her candy.

The sad little girl looked up with big Brown eyes to the top shelf on her dresser.

Standing on her tip-toes she got her piggy bank down. 

When she reached in there wasn't enough money.

Her candy had been given, then snatched right away.

Now it was broken.

She decided she would save her money for a different candy.

This time she would get an even better candy. 

One with many colors.

She would make sure no one took it.

She would save and save.

But she knew she would get her candy someday.

And when she did, she would be happier than ever before.

Five years time. I might not know you.

My 100th post. WOW. that's pretty crazy. Well here it goes.

• What is a promise and how do you keep it? When is it okay to brake a promise? When should you forget about a promise someone broke to you when they sincerely said they were sorry? Why do people treat promises like little things? Why do people think that promises have an expiration date? They don't.
• You're a little weasel. I hate animals. That should be understandable.
• This week Lydia told me to make new memories. So that's what I'm doing. Everywhere I go I will make a new memory in a place that reminds me of something that's gone on that I don't want to think about. So that way I have new things to think about everywhere I go. And I am a happy little girl
• Note to people who don't think before they speak: Don't bring up touchy subjects. You aren't being funny. No one is laughing. You're just being an idiot.
• Why do people think that it is okay to do things that completely aren't okay? I wish people had some sense, real courage, a brain, a heart, we should all go to OZ. Many people are missing those things.
• Why do I get a hang over from bad things that happen to me? It's like once I get through something I'm okay but then the next day I have those horrible feeling and it's like hangover feelings the sad after effects after something is dealt with and over.

And that's basically what's on my mind right now, or at least all that I would like to share on this blog of mine. happy 100th post!

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