Here it comes

So, here comes the hard part. Not the Harder part. Just another hard part. Trying to move forward. Trying to move on. I'm sick of people asking me how I am. Just let me be. Let me deal with this how I need to deal with this. I can get through it on my own. After all It happened to me, just me, so I'll overcome it with me, just me. It's just the worst wanting what you know you shouldn't have. What you can't have. Because you would just be setting yourself up to get hurt again. To get hurt worse. So I only have one choice. Keep moving forward. Do the bet that I can. When I'm ready I'll let everyone know. But don't think it's going to happen soon... and don't count on it happening ever. But it will. Ill pull through. Even if the choices I make means giving up everything I thought would be my future and saying goodbye to the world I thought I would live in forever. I don't know yet. I know what I SHOULD do. I know what I need to do to protect myself. But I don't know how to move on. I'll figure it out though. Maybe it's my turn to make mistakes. Or maybe it's my turn to realize I don't need any of that. I DONT KNOW. And im not going to. And im at least sorry for that.